


And Isn't That The Worst Scream You Ever Heard?

by wheredoyougowhenyougoquiet



Series: Trauma [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: And wants to hurt everyone around her to get even, F/M, M/M, Past Abuse, Sakura is hurt, Screaming, Swearing, briefly touches on the unhealthy feelings Sasuke has for Itachi, but she doesn't, there's a motif in here can you guys spot it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-02 00:04:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8643409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheredoyougowhenyougoquiet/pseuds/wheredoyougowhenyougoquiet
Summary: "What the fuck good is a training ground if it does not quench her thirst?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> There's a motif of darkness growing inside people after trauma and screaming. There's one curse. And per usual Sakura is dealing with past abuse off screen and not graphically described. This one is pretty tame.
> 
> You guys know the drill by now: I've got a fierce love for run on sentences and commas.

I. 

She is small and weak and left holding on to a boy she loves more than she loves herself; but she doesn't know if she is just holding on at this point to have something that belongs to herself, or if she is just comfortable in rejection, or because she doesn't know how to be anything else but in love. 

II. 

Every night in her dreams she watches both of them die. Naruto always goes first, an enemy stabbing him the back Sakura was supposed to be protecting, but as usual she's too weak. A moment too late, a counterattack miscalculated. She watches the anger in Sasuke's eyes meld into shattering accusation. She let his best friend die, the only person he might have ever loved in return in a way that wasn't possession, and for what? Because Sakura hadn't changed like they had, she hadn't gotten faster or stronger or smarter or brave, she'd stayed the same in-the-way kunoichi that she'd started out as.

Sasuke stands stock still as he lets out the most horrifying scream she has ever heard. Sakura wonders if his murdered clan can hear it in their graves, does it rattle their bones into a clanking clattering symphony of sadness? He turns blurry eyes on her, takes a step forward, collapses. 

She wonders if it was a heart attack from all the stress of carrying their team or the consequences of the Sharingan finally kicking in, the same sickness that ate away at his perfect brother, but she likes to think it was a broken heart. She had read that in some far off article once, that it is possible to die from a broken heart, and if there's anyone Sasuke would have ever loved as much as Itachi it was Naruto. A boy with too many heartbreaks in one lifetime. 

Sakura wakes up with a strangled scream of her own.

III. 

Ino calls her a nuisance as Sakura accompanies her squad on a mission one day. She hadn't wanted to go, but Tsunade insisted and who is Sakura to defy her hokage? Sakura flinches, hard, and lunges at her once best friend in a blur of messy tears and insecurities. Choji and Shikamaru stand off to the side watching them tumble around with pity in their eyes. Ino will have people to go to when this is over, but Sakura has no one. And that makes her reach for a kunai and slice through the thick strands of silky blonde hair in her grasp.

Ino screams.

IV. 

She trains. She trains hard until no one can ever call her weak again. She has enough power in her fists to make them all tremble, but, somehow, it still doesn't feel like a victory. So she takes a perverse pleasure in knowing that on the battlefield she can always let them die. She wonders now if Orochimaru knows that he took the wrong one, that she is sicker than Sasuke will ever be even after he continues living in the past after murdering his poor, beautiful brother, and that she has made herself hard enough inside that she may as well be dead. 

She uses any training grounds that will have her, punches with enough force to crater the ground and bruise her knuckles, and screams when there is nothing left to brutalize. 

What the fuck good is a training ground if it does not quench her thirst? Her newly awakened and dark desire to see anyone who even looked at her sideways in passing defeated in bloody humps beneath her feet?

There is a sickness inside her howling: Sakura opens her cracked lips wide and lets it escape in the echoing, inhuman, scream that tears from her throat, afraid that if she does not try now it will never go away. 

She closes her mouth and feels her rotted insides settle back down and knows in what is left of her heart that it will not go away in this lifetime.

She screams one last time anyway.


End file.
